The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
A Parody, by the Suicide Queen

The following is a Parody based on the film: The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. Due to it's content it is rated R.

If you would like to begin at the begining, as I suggest you should, please ENTER HERE

Or, since I've gone scene by scene and this is almost as long as the actual script (shudder), you may use these links to each page.

Page 1: includes the following scenes:
Smeagol and Deagol's Ill-Fated Fishing Trip
Sam and Frodo's Debut (at least for this film)
4:20 with Merry and Pippin
Party Time at the Golden Hall
Gollum's Conversation With...Gollum
Palantirs Ruin Slumber Parties
King Theoden's Crib
Pippin Rides With Gandy

Page 2 : includes the following scenes:
Arwen Runs Home to Ada
A Visit to the Steward
One Last Serene Evening
Frodo, Sam and Gollum Reach The Dead City
Meanwhile In Minas Tirith
Back in Edoras
Faramir Tells All
Stairway to Hell
Pippin Swears In, Faramir Heads Out

Page 3 : includes the following scenes:
Fat Ass Stole the Lembas Bread!
Dinner Music For Denethor
A Conversation at the Water Cooler
The Tents At Dunharrow
Aragorn's Surprise Guest
Off to the Creepy Mountain

Page 4: includes the following scenes:
Leaving for Minas Tirith
Merry Rides With Eowyn
Inside the Creepy Mountain
Denethor Goes Nuts
Frodo Meets "Her"
Frodo Meets "Her", Pt. II

Page 5: includes the following scenes:
Checking Back in at Minas Tirith
Frodo Gets Nailed
Sam Fights Little Miss Muffet's Nightmare
Denethor Builds a Bon Fire
The Battle Begins
Meet The Witch King

Page 6: includes the following scenes:
The Victory of the Dead Guys
Pippin and Merry's Battlefield Reunion
Sam Saves Frodo's Ass...Again
Aragorn's Idea
Frodo and Sam's Sorry State
Can the Orcs Come Out and Play?

Page 7: includes the following scenes:
A Little Break for Frodo and Sam
Jurassic Eagles and Gollum's Surprise Return
The Ass-Crack of Mt. Doom
Second Thoughts at the Final Destination
Re-thinking Those Second Thoughts
Exploring the End of All Things
A Clean Reunion Gone Dirty

Page 8: includes the following scenes:
A Magic Moment in Minas Tirith
A Spill at the Green Dragon
My Best Friend's Wedding
Finishing the Book
A Carriage Ride
A Kiss at the End of the Rainbow
Obligatory Epilouge